I understand the challenge of living out the Catholic faith without being rooted in your true identity as God’s daughter. Through personal friendships and providing spiritual guidance to women, I’ve observed that many of us tend to rely solely on ourselves. This self-reliance often leads to a laundry list of struggles and a sense of emptiness. The culture of setting goals, being productive, and striving for success reinforces this behavior. Eventually, we all reach a point where we realize we need help, both spiritually and mentally, because we find ourselves in a state of burnout or disillusionment.

My breaking point came when I started serving in leadership positions within the Catholic Church. I realized that in the depth of human brokenness, both in others and in myself, I couldn’t rely solely on myself and still maintain my love for God and practice the Catholic faith that I’ve cherished since childhood. Something needed to change. I came to realize that something needed to take a deeper root within me.

My first annual retreat with the Sisters of Life transformed how I viewed myself, God, the Catholic Church, and others. The Sisters taught me that I am unique, unrepeatable, and God’s beloved daughter and that everything, absolutely everything, flows from this understanding. My love for God, the Catholic Church, my neighbor, the way I make decisions, and how I show up in service—all stem from my identity as God’s child. Within my identity lie both my worth and mission. I believe the best place to discover and rediscover this repeatedly is through an annual retreat. (Thank you, Sisters of Life, for providing this experience for me and so many women.)

Related: Make Your Next Retreat

The Importance of a Retreat

Many people have recommended annual retreats to me, and I initially thought that extra sleep and a calendar without meetings would be rejuvenating enough. However, God has much more in store for us.

The tradition of annual retreats dates back to the time of the desert fathers and mothers, who sought significant periods of solitude to actively listen and be available to God. At the heart of a retreat is the time and space to take a breath, sit with the Lord, and be honest about who we are and who God has made us to be. Retreats provide intentional and dedicated time for prayer and reflection away from daily distractions. They revive our spiritual lives and help us lean more intimately into our relationship with God.

Saint Ignatius of Loyola formalized the practice of a retreat in the 16th century with his Spiritual Exercises, which help structure the quiet of a retreat experience through prayer, meditation, and formal discernment. Discerning with the Spiritual Exercises can provide significant guidance while seeking clarity on God’s will and making important decisions.

Related: Why both a Pilgrimage and Vacation are Important

The Difference in Retreats

Catholic retreats come in various forms, ranging from silent and guided to those structured around spiritual activities or specific themes such as vocational discernment, the Sacraments, or healing. Most Catholic retreats offer opportunities to participate in the Mass, spend time before the Eucharist, and receive the Sacrament of Confession.

I prefer to alternate between guided and self-guided retreats for my annual spiritual renewal. Guided retreats can be one-on-one or in a group setting and often include communal prayer, teaching, and instruction on a particular theme or topic. In contrast, self-guided retreats provide more silence and flexibility, allowing you to follow your own spiritual reading and prayer routine.

How I Retreat Away

Most years, I choose to make my annual retreat with the Sisters of Life, either in Connecticut or Colorado. The Sisters’ spirituality and traditional retreat environments offer a comfortable space for renewal. I particularly appreciate the silent retreats I have attended with the Sisters. Their guided retreats have been instrumental in helping me discern God’s will and experience His unique love for me. These retreats have also taught me what’s essential for a fruitful and life-giving retreat.

The way their charism and femininity give life to me underscores the need for more female-led retreats for Catholic women. I have experienced firsthand the significance of one-on-one accompaniment during these retreats. While group settings are important and can be very powerful, nothing is more intimate than sharing one’s sacred story one-on-one. This experience inspired me to start offering individual retreats. If you’re looking for your first or next retreat, I invite you to retreat with me in person.

Related: Here’s How I’m Embracing Silence

Self-Guided Retreats

When I opt for a self-guided retreat, my destination of choice is Duluth, Minnesota, where I stay by Lake Superior. The breathtaking beauty of the lake is incredibly life-giving, offering a perfect backdrop for contemplation and prayer. On my way there, I stop at the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe, which sets a sacred tone for my retreat. Surrounding yourself with natural beauty and sacred art can enliven your senses and create space for the Holy Spirit to move.

Sometimes, I feel the need for a retreat outside of my annual time away. During such times, I opt for a stay-at-home retreat. This approach allows me to create a retreat atmosphere within my own home, dedicating specific days to prayer, silence, and spiritual reading. It’s a beautiful way to reconnect with God without the need for travel.

These retreats, whether in person or at home, always include time for spiritual direction, whether with the spiritual director available at the retreat or my own spiritual director by phone.

Related: If I Was Your Spiritual Director

My Experience

Whether away or at home, each retreat serves as a powerful reminder of who I am in the eyes of God. It is a time for formal discernment, where I seek clarity on my path and decisions. A retreat also provides a space to offer profound gratitude for the blessings in my life, acknowledging God’s goodness and grace.

Moreover, retreats allow me to sit with the Lord and ache together, presenting my pains and struggles to Him. It is an opportunity to be present to any pain and heartache, not suppress or ignore it, but to invite Jesus into my woundedness. This dedicated time for deeper prayer and reflection enables me to emerge with a renewed sense of peace and direction.

During my first retreat with the Sisters of Life, a flame was sparked within me. Ever since, I continuously seek ways to remember and embrace my identity and worth, always looking forward to my next retreat.

Who Are You?

I firmly believe we need retreats to renew our understanding of our identity, remind us of who we are, and help us live out this identity in all aspects of our lives: work, family, relationships, participation in the Mass, responding to sexual desires, self-talk, and communication with others. Again, our understanding of our identity affects everything.

Retreats provide the necessary reminder and renewal about who we are and whose we are. Whether guided or self-guided, at home or away, annual retreats are important for anyone seeking to grow closer to God. They offer us the precious gift of time and space to reconnect with our Creator, discern His will, and find healing and renewal in His presence. I encourage you to consider incorporating this beautiful tradition into your spiritual journey.